Sunday, April 8, 2012

Sex and Sexuality in Gaming

Have you ever spent an hour or two writing a post only to delete the whole thing and start over? I just did that with this post. So please, allow me to re-start.

I don't contribute to the WoTC forums, although I do read them from time to time. Recently, I discovered a topic concerning in-game sexuality. As always, the thread exploded into a flurry of insults, blabbering and "intellectual elitism."

- On a side note, I wish there was a "sarcasm" text style, as italics just doesn't seem to cut the mustard in some cases. Maybe call it italicsXtreme.

It did get me thinking though. So I ask myself -and anyone who cares to read- how do you view sex and sexuality in your game? Is it something intentionally included/excluded? How do you handle it when it comes up? Do sexual preferences besides heterosexual exist in your world? If it is included, how far do you take it?

I am fortunate to game with an open minded group of players who seem to handle anything I throw at them. While sexuality rarely appears in my authored adventures, it has occasionally popped up from time to time. It can take the form of a serious plot point while other times it can be used as comic relief.

I guess in that sense it's kind of like real life! (insert rimshot!)

I try not to exclude any possible character traits from my games or players and this includes their sexual behavior. I don't actively encourage it, but if a player decides to pursue sexual goals it's not my job to say no. A bard in our current campaign slept his way through quite a few taverns in his travels. While it had little impact on the game, it did wonders in the development of his character. A few charisma or bluff checks and the situation was resolved. No role play needed (thank god!) and his character got to maintain his rather sleazy reputation.

The newest Dwarf Body Sprays garaunteed to drive she-dwarves crazy: Battle-Axe!


As handling sexuality goes, it has changed for our group as we get older. Looking back through the years it's funny to see how we have matured as gamers. In our teenage years we had stuff like Whore the Boar -a rather tasteless animal companion, or hour long debates on whether "buttcheeks counted as 'closeable objects' in conjunction with the Fire Trap spell." Now that we are older there are still occasional blue jokes but more often than not sex takes a more serious tone. We have had adventures where the party solved the mystery, and eventually avenged the rape and death of an innocent woman. The party has also infiltrated a temple of perversity  hidden below a brothel in search of a kidnapped bureaucrat only to find him there willingly, charmed not by magic - but by pleasures of the flesh.

Concerning sexual preferences, the simple answer is: we don't care. That's not to say that our group is indifferent to preferences besides heterosexuality, in fact I am saying the complete opposite. I have placed gay NPCs within many games as both mundane and plot-critical characters and have discovered that the party acts like they do in real life, they treat the NPCs like any other person. Or in this case, character. 

So how do you deal with these topics in game?

Until next time, happy gaming!          

7 comments:

  1. Great topic. Upon looking back, yes, my games have dipped the proverbial toe in the muddy waters of titillation regarding the sexes. Though it was always, not consciously, kept heterosexual. Only as the years rolled by and everyone was comfortable with each other and the group dynamic, did little snippets or teasing encounters--by that, I mean in a way to illicit humour and laughs--involving same-sex attraction/flirtation.

    I think the 'avenging a rape victim' scenario is an rpg staple theme that almost every role playing group encounters at some point or other. Historically, rape has been prevalent throughout, as a means of punishment, torture or crime of subjugation/conquest. To pretend otherwise is like turning your game setting into Disneyland, and whilst you're at it, scrub death, make all the undead happy-go-lucky creatures who burst into song at the drop of a hat and crack jokes, and all your dwarves are hanging about in groups of seven.

    Sex is as intrinsic to a game world as the cycle of day and night. What makes the big difference is how you handle it. I had never seen two player characters 'getting it on'. It has happened where two players have discussed if or not their characters might 'fancy' each other, but that was as far as it went. I suppose for them it would be something approximating expressing a sexual attraction for a sibling. Player and NPC relationships were never a problem, though I did sometimes feel I was missing out on the whole bunch of flowers and box of chocolates deal... I mean, even a DM likes to be wooed once in a while!

    But full blown intercourse was never addressed, nor suggested. Assumed to have happened behind closed doors, yes. And thank-bloody-God too! I don't think I was up to doing a Meg Ryan, "Yes! Yes! YES!" routine... not even for a box of chocolates!

    I think in many ways it was best handled, sex, that is, in the way we did - hinted at, and left like that. It allowed players to fill in the blank spaces for themselves, which saved any awkwardness at the table, especially as my wife was a regular player, and it wasn't unheard of to have a second female player join us. I did find though, the younger guys at the table did develop more respect for the female players as time progressed. Most likely the influence of the older guys within the group maybe? But I'm positive that a good rp group can have a great social impact if comprising of mature and younger players of both genders, especially in terms of learning respect, tolerance and understanding of others through a variety of situations.

    Ok, I'm wandering off topic, so I'll close up. Take care, my friend. Look forward to seeing if anyone else has thoughts on the matter?

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  2. I run a pulp Sword & Sorcery campaign and I include all of the standard conventions of the genre including scantily-clad dancing-girls and wanton tavern wenches.

    But because it is also a dungeon-centric campaign we don't delve too deeply into the theatrics of character development and, therefore, the sex is mostly implicit. I do have a mechanic to reinforce genre conventions: characters heal hit points at four times the normal rate when they recover in the comforts of an inn with tankards of cold ale, flagons of wine, and wenches to warm their beds. After all, pulp sword & sorcery heroes are always good to go after a good night's carouse.

    With respect to homosexuality, I have occasionally created NPCs with same-sex preferences to flesh out their character traits, but I've never seen anyone actually play a homosexual character. Once again, this aspect of sexuality is also largely implicit.

    I imagine that sexuality plays some role in most everyone's games - it is an intrinsic aspect of the human condition - but I suspect that it is mostly played out 'behind the scenes.' I've never heard of anyone actually roleplaying intercourse.

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    1. I love the idea of 4x recovery speed at a tavern. It got me thinking about this article from A Paladin In Citadel.

      I too have never had a player actually create a gay or lesbian character, although in my younger days I did allow the spell "change sexual preference" from the great net spellbook.

      One player used it on another player's minotaur fighter.

      It was the cause of the aforementioned "firetrap" debate.

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  3. For some reason, sexuality has always been included in almost all the games I've played. I always genderbend and play male characters, who are straight or gay, depending on what I feel fits them. A few were rather non-sexual, but for most, sexuality did play at least some role during the game.

    My weekly group had PCs fall in love with each other, even PCs who married and also a lot of in-game flirting and more with NPCs. The actual sex usually doesn't get played out or is taken into play by email between the involved characters.

    I think the whole thing evolved out of the fact that the players got more and more comfortable with each other after playing together for years. Sometimes the GM gave our characters the chance to pursue romantic interests on purpose, but usually it got started by the players.

    The one time my character married another player's character definitely was the result of mutual attraction between the players. That can be a dangerous game to play, but it worked out brilliantly for us and we had a lot of fun and it did a lot for our characters' development.

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    1. Thanks for the reply? If you don't mind me asking, do you play in an online (email, forum, skype etc) based game or tabletop?

      Reading your reply got me thinking about the anonymity of the internet and how some folks shed their inhibitions in such an environment.

      I'm no researcher, but I would be interested to see the differences between online and tabletop games when it comes to this topic.

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    2. We play normal pen and paper/tabletop games. The play by email games happen there when things come up that need to be kept between GM and one player for example or when intimate things happen. It's a great way of playing out things that would bore the rest of the group or make them uncomfortable.

      As for shedding your inhibitions: the way my group plays, you do have the "anonymity" of being alone with your computer, but you will also see the person you are writing to next week. So yes, we do play out things we would probably never do at the table, but it doesn't go overboard.

      I've also played the occasional online game at a forum, but so far sex hasn't come up there. I would need to look up the rules to see if it's even allowed.

      I would hesitate to introduce sex into a forum game or a email game I play with strangers because I have no way of knowing or judging when they become freaked out or uncomfortable until they say so, which may be too late. And asking "hey guys (and girls), how about some sex in the game" may be just as awkward and creepy.

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  4. Our group often runs into encounters of this nature, or seeks out certainly businesses. It's almost exclusively implied, because as one of my players eloquently had put it, "so as to not say sweet nothings to the DM." Sexual jokes and comments however, are very much common and often expected at times.

    For example, innuendos such as the one wizard in our last campaign having the ability to turn anything the colour blue without choice (except magical things and living flesh). As you can imagine, they got a kick out of how he 'blue' things regularly.

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